A chasm has opened up inside me, as the last lifetime of separation dissolves completely away, I am left looking inside myself wondering, what’s next? How do you begin to live again after an experience of this magnitude? Awakening from human reality, moving into soul/spiritual reality, awakening from soul/spiritual reality, moving into galactic/ascension reality, awakening from galactic/ascension reality, moving into universal reality, unifying it all through consummation of the UNIversal reality, to awakening/returning to the eternal reality of unconditional love. How do we reconcile within our Self, that many identities, deaths, realities, and understanding of consciousness and still walk around in the manifested world and feel a part of it? Sure living in a cave, or staying home or living within a little bubble of like minded people, etc. makes this an easier task. But living out in the world amongst strangers, in different situations, in foreign lands, etc. and feeling at peace within presents a challenge when we are shifting from one expression of self to another.
Yet, this has always been the case for my experience. When I have had to “learn” to live as a new self, a new identity, in a new reality, everything around me changed. I went away to foreign lands, new places, different people, etc. so that I could learn to accept it all as my “new” self, to be comfortable with the outside now matter what presented. It challenged me and it also helped me excel in becoming my “new” self. Whether I was in Mexico and India learning to express Gaia Sophia or in Kauai and Mexico learning to express Sophia, the surroundings of my external reality helped to acclimate me to my internal reality as well. However, each time I have gone through this process before, I was becoming someone new, constructing a new reality where the Self played the part of I as a soul, a galactic being, a god, a Divine Architect, etc. The new Light program I was playing out would give me scenarios in which I could learn how to become and be this new self. Since this chasm opened it has remained empty as there are no programs running, there is nothing or no one to become because there are no more realities to play out in which the I separates from the Self and from the world/reality around me.
It is not that we intentionally separate ourselves from the ultimate reality that is the entire manifested Cosmos. This is how dimensional awareness is intended to be. As long as we are playing out Light programs of separate identities, then we will always be perceiving/living within a separate dimensional reality within this Universe. If we believe ourselves to be anything other than unconditional love and only unconditional love, we are perceiving/living within a separate reality. If we believe we are human, if we believe we are a soul, if we believe we are a part of a Divine Trinity of Light, then we are still living in a dimensional reality whether it be the third dimension or the twelfth. This is part of the journey, it is the Ascension Light Program and it is the game of consciousness that we all play, by virtue of being housed within a Light body. It is easy for us to look back and see this with the eyes of Pure Consciousness but it is not as easy on the mind! This is why we cannot easily embody through physical body ascension, the full essence and Light of our being as Pure Consciousness all at once.
We can conceptually “embody” this way of Being without physical body ascension and live in peace as unconditional love like many a saint and hermit and philosopher such as the Buddha and Jesus, etc. and then continue our incarnations as a logos elsewhere in the Universe when we physically die. (Or now we can reincarnate on Terra Nova since we are a multidimensional planet) However, if we are to go through physical body ascension, then we must understand that the brain and body have to go through phases and processes in order to “die” and reincarnate within the same physical body at new points within space and time. It is a mind bending journey because the death of the Self that we experience is REAL, it would be no different than facing death in old age or through terminal illness. The process is the same as we reconcile our reality, make peace with it, and let it go so that we can transition with a clear mind and body. Because we are doing this without leaving the physical body behind, it too must go through a death, a clearing throughout the entire body from the cells, to blood, bones, teeth, organs, skin and most importantly the mind. It is a very physically intense experience as the density of the the Light we held within must be released so that we can shift the body into a higher dimension or in this case beyond time. The body must be rewritten to be able to send and receive Light at higher frequencies and the neural network of the mind must be purified and rewritten so that Light now flows through new neural pathways in the brain. All of this comes with intense body aches, fatigue, flu symptoms, headaches, teeth aches, ear aches, etc. It is not a one time experience. We must go through these every time our bodies are moving into new phases and higher realities/dimensions of this Universe. My physical body has grown over two inches during my ascension from the release of density within my physical body! This is why physical body ascension is not for everyone and also why we go back to sleep and have multiple awakenings, i.e. deaths and births as we physically ascend within spacetime. The mind and body must be strong to endure the process of physical body ascension, especially if it is accelerated.
However, we can achieve awakening and sustain it during our lifetime without physical body ascension. This is what many people experience and then reincarnate in a new physical body the next lifetime. In this case, after awakening, we maintain the sense of unity and peace with the world and continue to play out a dimensional reality and identity such as being a soul in union with the world for the remainder of our incarnation. Then we will choose a physical death of the body and reincarnate into a new body, where we are born into a higher version or higher electromagnetic radiation of our Diamond Sun body. When we awaken in the new life, we will continue our ascension. In this case we get a new brain and body but still have to evolve it through “childhood” with the core programming of society. It is coded into our Ascension Light Program as a logos on how we will evolve throughout the entire Universal Time Matrix of this Universe. When we are ready to move beyond traditional reincarnation, physical body ascension will begin. We will have many “Selfs” throughout the countless incarnations we will experience as we shoot out into time and then ascend backwards through time until we evolve beyond separation and unity and our journey as a logos ends. The Ascension Light program completes, the journey of separation through time and the dimensions of the Universal Time Matrix comes to an end and we then play out the remainder of our incarnation as Pure Consciousness until we dissolve back into the fabric of existence.
It all sounds so simple when we can look back with hind sight and summarize such a mind bending, heart opening, reality shifting experience of consciousness in such a few words. Yet, to be fair to my self and to consciousness who is or has experienced this process, it is not as easy as it can be summarized down in prose. The shift from one incarnation to another is HARD, dying is never easy, even when it is “illusionary” because our illusions are our realities! Therefore, we experience these transitions of consciousness as deaths and rebirths to be real and that they are my friends. There is a chasm that is left behind in the mind after a death that is then filled with a new Light program in which we fill this void within with a new Self, a new identity, a new version of consciousness. It is this chasm that I referenced in the opening statement, a chasm has been open within me for a great many weeks now, as every single program and reality of separation within me has been purified, up to and including the Divine Union of the trinitized forces of Light in which the Christos and Sophia have been surrendered within. The Self has once again experienced death and in its place a chasm remains, it is void, it is empty, it is space. I have been learning to live with it and have grappled with what to do with it because there are no more Light programs to fill its place. The days of playing in separation, in time and dimensions of the Universal Time Matrix, have ended for consciousness in this Diamond Sun Body. I have been lost, lonely, and feeling so separated from the world as I have no reality/identity to cling to and I know THIS time around everything must be different. I must learn to fill the chasm with unconditional love by allowing it to remain empty and free.
I cannot go back into the dream of separation by filling the space with an identity. I cannot go off and create realities of separation within time even from the highest dimensions of this Universe. I must let go of ascension, dimensions, the journey, and all identities I have ever experienced in this mind as separation. And I have, which is why I feel so lost and lonely as I learn to navigate reality from empty space. No more waiting around for another separate self to emerge, a phoenix to rise from the ashes and fill the chasm I feel inside. There will be no phoenix this time around. The chasm will not be filled again through rebirth and a new identity for the Self to play. No! The jig is up! No, here in eternity there are no identities to be found. So open that chasm wide until it stretches beyond time and separation, let it be filled with eternal love. Realize that there is no chasm, that the emptiness felt inside is the chamber of eternity from which all manifestations flow from. There is no need to fill the space with an identity, it only blocks and separates the Pure Light from flowing through this Light Body. I don’t want to be somebody anymore, I have no desire to shine separately from the whole, I need not radiate as a separate Self to fill the void within. Freedom is found within the void, when I am empty inside, I am free to bloom as the flower of the Universe in each moment. Oh, I want to fill the void, it feels natural to fill it and for months I have been learning to live with this feeling of emptiness and void inside. This chasm within that has felt so empty, that I have perceived it to be nothingness and thus experienced it this way. Really the ultimate separation from reality!! But this is blindness! Emptiness is not nothingness. Emptiness is everythingness! Because when I am empty inside, when this great void within me is not filled with being an identity, it is FREE to be everything! It is filled by everything! It is existence reflected in existence. Love reflected in love!
When I can be ok with being empty in this way, I will open my Self up to be able to be filled with the Light around me, inside and outside me without separation. I have been so uncomfortable with other people, with the crying child, the woman sitting on the counter at the laundromat, the person listening to a movie out loud on the train, ALL of it just grating on my nerves. And I have also been trying in those moments to stop and listen and let it fill the emptiness inside until it merges into a harmonious experience. It has been beyond uncomfortable and I know it is the way forward. I lost my eye covers in Cortina D’Ampezzo. When I was able to SEE my reality, I left them behind. I have used eye covers for so long to shut out the Light, ear phones to silence the Light. Going deeper and deeper into the stillness to find the truth and to clear my perceptions/programming of self of all separation across all of space and time/dimensions. And now, I know it is time to return to the Pure reality of the manifested Cosmos, to be a part of the flower of the Universe again. Yes, I know how it works, I know all the tricks, I know the truth behind the flower but it is still a beautiful flower and by virtue of being in this Light body, I am a part of the flower too! It exists because I exist to see it, to hear it, to smell it, to taste it, to experience it! I can enjoy it in all its splendor because I am empty inside and it is what will fill me up now. The beauty of the world and all its works! The Pure Unconditional Love that is the foundation from which the flower of the Universe blooms and that is the flower of the Universe itself. Inside me and outside me there is no difference because there is no longer any separation left within. The chasm, the void is free to be filled with everything not separated from everything!
Which is why I have to let go of so much that I have created these past few years. Including everything I have written here and shared in books, articles, videos, etc. As the reality of ascension, consummation and even of ever having taken a separate journey all dissolve into the ocean. It was all a dream. A necessary dream that has prepared me to really begin to live! I have been afraid to let go that I might forget all that I learned on the journey. That I would go back to sleep or life would once again become dull and monotonous. Then I likened the journey to our school years of kindergarten through twelfth grade. We learn so much in those years that help to prepare us to live in the world. It is a system of knowledge that builds upon itself, year after year our knowledge evolves and our understanding grows. We change until by the end we no longer resemble a kindergarter at all. All of this creates a mind that allows us to go out into the world and exist in society independently of our parents. We graduate and it is like our diploma is the key to our freedom as an individual. We are free to go to college, go to work, move away, whatever we choose. We leave behind the classroom and we don’t look back and say I’m afraid I might forget my ABCs now or I might forget how to multiply. NO, we leave and we never look back. We have created a solid foundation in which we can now go out and begin to live our lives. This is how it must be for me now. I have graduated, I have created a foundation of Unconditional Love from which I can now live my life and it is time to re-enter the world. I do not know what lies before me, what path I will take, but I do know that this chapter of my existence is over. Just as we leave high school behind, pack away the mementos of days gone by and prepare to leave the nest into a whole new world, happy to be starting a new life, a little apprehensive about how its all going to play out, and excited to be on our own and free! I am saying goodbye to the journey, to sharing it, to even remembering it happened and I am taking the leap into a world of infinite possibilities without the safety net of separation to fall back on because I now have a solid foundation to support me. The quantum fabric of existence, unconditional love from which all Light flows forth! I know how reality works, how the Universe works, how to live and be my self within a Light body as Pure Consciousness. Now I must let go and trust that I will go forward as my authentic Self, free of programs that separate my Light, empty as space so that I can be filled/reflected in each moment with the infinite possibilities blooming and blossoming through me and around me. It is time to return to the world. It is time to live!