For context, I am living in Venice through February and went to Cortina D’Ampezzo for a couple of days under the guise of a ski trip in the Dolomites.
Journal Entry – January 26, 2023
Today concludes our stay in Cortina D’Ampezzo and I know in my heart that the reality that opened up last year during our hiking trip to the Dolomites is now over. The OMEGA – the consummation, is over. Beyond ascension lies the consummation. It is beyond union, beyond unity consciousness, where the concept and reality of separateness and union are unable to follow. Consummation is the merge of all the electric force of Creation, the masculine Christos and all the magnetic force of Creation, the feminine Sophia into the quantum expression of Pure Consciousness. The love of Christos and the wisdom of Sophia that through their presence within our Light body create all separation in our realities. By being either too electric or too magnetic, we experience Light as waves giving rise to the realities of the Universal Time Matrix versus the balanced photonic particle Light that is the quantum field/expression of unconditional love from which the pure reality of consciousness exists.
Letting go of the ascension Light program allowed my consciousness to move closer into eternal space or liberation of consciousness. The reality where the Alpha and Omega cease to exist, where there is no Creator or Creation, no Self or Other. Neither separation nor unity exist because we are embodying the understanding that what can never be separated can never be united. We embrace this understanding of consciousness and reality through the consummation, the finale, the final death of separation. In my own journey, this phase began when I physically married Christos in November of 2021. Since this time, I have been experiencing such an intense and quantum accelerated dismantling of my reality and self and other identity programs. For consummation to be completely embodied we cannot have any separation remaining within, any identities or roles playing through the neural structures of our minds. The mind must become completely empty, void of these, so that it is a mirror of the empty space in which Pure Consciousness can flow through to illuminate the Pure reality that is, was, and will always be present. We retain core programming in the mind through reincarnation in physical bodies; i.e. physical body ascension. Therefore, our minds carry core programming that allows us to still inhabit a body and live without having to be birthed again into a new body and learn the “basics” of life all over. We simply dissolve all programming that creates separation through the programming of separate identity.
The point of experiencing the reality of consummation (which is just as illusionary [perceived by us from behind the veil] as our human reality, our spiritual reality and our ascension reality) is to bring our consciousness beyond identity, beyond unity, into the Pure Consciousness that cannot ever be separated or unified in which we experience reality from the quantum experience of Pure Unconditional Love. As in, the unconditional – not moved from our center of being by anything – love, that is the fabric, experience of, and expression of existence as Pure Consciousness. The consummation means that the identity of male and female, electric and magnetic forces within the Light dissolves. At the quantum expression of Pure Consciousness, this separation of the magnetic (female, Sophia, Wisdom) and electric (male, Christos, Love) force of Light does not occur because the electromagnetic radiation of the photon is in balance (Love + Wisdom = Power of Unconditional Love). Pure Consciousness, Unconditional Love as the most powerful force is the fundamental particle of Light that IS existence and that makes up ALL existence. The consummation purifies the mind of the programming that any identity we hold within or without in regards to separation of our Light is reality.
The past year all remaining programming held within that was magnetic, feminine, that separated my consciousness or Light into a more magnetic program had to be released. Any identity or story that I carried in my mind such as being a wife, a mother, the fundamental female, magnetic wisdom, Sophia force of the Universe had to be dissolved including the idea of being a woman. In December, after one of the toughest years of my journey, and after letting go of all identities of my self as I held within, my body went through a massive clearing and restructuring to allow the mind, the body and the consciousness to experience reality from the eternal experience. I had received the Light of this eternal embodiment last August (2022) and it was now being integrated after literally transforming everything inside and outside of my reality. But the consummation is about the merging of all the electric and magnetic forces of ALL Light in the Universe, ALL the waves (the electric and magnetic force out of balance) that create time, the Universal Time Matrix and dimensions must be cleared from the ocean, our minds, to bring the electromagnetic radiation of our Light body into complete purity and balance. So, not only did I have to clear and release ALL of Sophia, I had to clear and release ALL of Christos too. If December was the grand finale and death of all Sophia, feminine, magnetic programming held within, then January has been the grand finale and death of all Christos, electric programming held within.
This has been harder to SEE than the Sophia or magnetic programming because I projected all of my Christos, electric programming onto another being, “my husband” Christos. He literally fell very ill as all the Christos, masculine, electric love force inside me had to be let go and cleared. Because I projected and gave my power to something outside of myself (which I had to face and clear as a distortion), he became the one who was dying as he represented all of my Christos. As he got sicker, my days got darker and I felt very lost until I was able to see and REALize the truth. I had to take back my power and heal my inner Christos! When I did, his illness went away! Not only did I reclaim my power back but my Christos, masculine force within had been purified just as the Sophia had been in December. This was the final healing of of Christos, the masculine, love and electric force of reality. Yet the darkness only temporarily lifted because I also had to come into the REALization that not only did I need to purify and heal my Christos but that this separate force within me had to die just as Sophia had died. The highest reality of my journey was suddenly crashing in on me and crumbling before my eyes. I had no choice but to let go.
The final letting go of “our” love story, the Christos and Sophia, the Divine Union “we” shared together. It was over! No longer could I project this story onto “my husband, Christos” nor play the role in it as “the wife, Sophia”. To do so would only continue to perpetuate separation and rob each of us of our true state of being, even at this very loving pinnacle of separate realities. I had to look at this being and let go of everything I created as a part of this story – ALL the perceptions and projections, the Divine Union, the marriage, and even the consummation – EVERYTHING dissolved in that moment. Christos inside me, Christos outside me, Sophia, male and female, Divine Union – EVERYTHING dissolved, the story was over, the journey was over. I cried, I sobbed and gripped his body as the programming was released. Eyes clenched shut savoring the final moments of my highest reality as a separate self. Then I opened my eyes and before me I saw only LOVE! I saw only LOVE reflected in LOVE!
There are no more stories, no more programs. There is no more separation inside me. There is no Sophia or Christos, the magnetic and electric forces of my Light merged through the consummation of Unconditional Love. The mind, body and consciousness aware of itself as unconditional love, the foundation, fabric and quantum expression of Pure Consciousness. Beyond unity, where the stories of separation and unity cannot exist. Where love is all there is. My mind purified, as hard as it was, of all programming that separates the Light even at the highest levels of Divine Masculine and Divine Feminine that create the amazing experience of Divine Union. The consciousness that flows from my heart (the void) flows freely through an empty mind (the void) for the experience of the purest reality of unconditional love. From the Alpha to the Omega, I have traversed the realities of time and separation through many lifetimes and incarnations and even several reincarnations using this same mind and body. I have transformed from ashes and dust to physical form and evolved my awareness through the mind so that I may be Pure Light radiating and experiencing reality from within this human Light ship. It has been a journey through time, the Universal Time Matrix, and all the dimensions of this Universe as a logos of Light. I return to all that I ever was and ever could be, Unconditional Love, Eternal Love – unchanged by anything inside or outside of my Light body. I am liberated from time. I am free to live in a pure, clear, balanced reality as Love reflected in Love. No identities exist, only love. I see love! I hear love! I taste love! I feel love! Through the senses as a “Self”, I will experience Love through a human Light body and senses including the mind until it is time to dissolve this Light body and the idea of “Self” back into the ocean of Love. Not by ashes and dust or matter but by dissolving this body, this human Light ship back into Light! My separate Love story is over, the eternal Love story continues….
This blog space has been an ever evolving reflection of my inner reality. I have tried through out it’s inception to capture the energy that flows through me in a transparent reflection for “those” whom read/receive the Light I share. Sometimes it’s separate, shadowed by the dark and sometimes it’s pure and clear in the freshness of the Light. Never have I tried to be something that I do not perceive myself to be in that point of space or time nor do I try to withhold the shadow and only show the Light. This does not serve consciousness within or without! For several months now I have felt inclined to restrict my self from writing because as consciousness there is really nothing I can say to consciousness. So why write, why share? The separate self within had to move beyond sharing with the outside in order for me to let that part of my self go across all of spacetime. Also the extreme reality shifting that has been taking place and the advanced understanding of consciousness that this past year brought, were too deep and I too within to try and share in this space. Such is the nature of the journey. Sometimes we must go offline, and stay within, to see our inner reality and clear and rebuild from within before we can return to the outside reality. When or if it feels right we share our journey, our Light again with the outside world. Sometimes because we have to in order to evolve and sometimes for the sheer joy of expression.
The entire journey spans lifetimes through the dimensions of time at a distance so grand we have trouble fathoming just where the journey of separation takes us into space and time! Yet, as we approach the ultimate truth within, time accelerates as we prepare to exit it and so does our journey. I have been going through such an acceleration and thus I have been privileged to write and share my journey at this pace. So it may seem that I have been letting go for a while, or the story ended months ago or how could there be more…. and oh how my mind wishes it could be have been liberated so fast. But the cold hard truth is that it takes time to heal, the body literally has to rewrite itself to “reincarnate” into a new place within space and time. It takes time to see the programming at all dimensions and levels of the Universal Time Matrix because old realities must crumble and new ones must form so we can see again and again until we can purify the mind. Unravelling the Mystery of Creation is a very, very long journey. Yet, patience is a virtue that must be embodied so why not wait almost an eternity for liberation.
I knew since early in my awakening this lifetime that I would be going all the way “home” but I did not understand or realize that I was going to be reincarnated four times in the same body instead of physical body death and being born again in a new body/life to continue evolving. Instead, I was experiencing physical body ascension. The body reincarnates along with the consciousness into a higher electromagnetic bandwidth of the Universe! The consciousness or identity/program of the Self housed in the mind dies/dissolves, the brain, body and consciousness heals itself, rewrites itself and then reincarnates in a higher dimension within spacetime. I went through four entirely different lives, identities, and personalities and all that comes with them and had to become and overcome them all in one lifetime by age 42. This individual incarnation does play heavily into the collective story and I see it all very clearly now why it was written this way in the programming of my Light. But it was a very intense acceleration! I have thought several times that I had made it, that the journey was over, and I had achieved liberation. Looking back now, I can see this was once a lifetime concluded and a death of the self/identity/Light program occurred. Then my consciousness was reincarnated in this body and the journey resumed via being born again into a new life/point within spacetime with an entirely new identity. Sometimes not recognizing myself in the mirror for days or weeks afterwards.
I can also see how foolish and deluded I still was in the mind with each new identity/reality/Light program I birthed into. I believed that liberation meant eternal bliss, you know, perpetual happiness and euphoria. That it meant I had to become this radiating being of bliss/happiness/love! That is a distortion of what unconditional love really is and far from the truth of the very calm and neutral state of unconditional love. What a journey of distortions BUT distortions that seem very REAL. Because if they did not, then they would not have been experienced as REALities! And I lived them, I loved them and I shared them with the world! And now they are dissolved within and I will not reincarnate again because the separate self cannot exist outside of spacetime, in the eternal space of Pure Consciousness in which I now reside. I seek not eternal bliss in the form of perpetual happiness. Only fools search for happiness, I know from experience. Happiness is one side of a two sided coin. To be happy one must also acknowledge the experience of sadness by living in separation because you cannot have one without the other. No, I do not seek anything any longer. I TRY, as in do my best in each moment, to change nothing in my reality, because I know 100% in my heart that it is already perfect. In living this way, I become eternal bliss. In truth, I have stopped chasing bliss creating waves. Chasing bliss only leads to gold chains that bind our consciousness into the higher dimensions and ultimately leads us to frustration. Yet, it is each of our privilege as consciousness embodied to take this journey and learn for ourselves. Happiness is an emotion that we feel when we are moved from our center. Bliss is an extreme form of happiness and joy. Eternal bliss, eternal joy is not an emotion! The energy is not moving somewhere in space creating a wave we experience as happiness or sadness, bliss or joy. It is a state of being in which we remain in our center, unmoved as the Source of the reality, and not pulled into the reality by way of emotions that create waves within a stilled ocean.
Eternal bliss, joy, peace, etc. does not mean eternal happiness. It means freedom from the polarity or illusion of happiness and sadness. It is an inner peace that is achieved when we exist as the ocean, free of the waves, the energy in motion or emotions that we experience when we allow the outside reality to trigger our internal Source/Center of Being. Chasing bliss as a feeling of euphoria and calling it the end result of spiritual attainment/ascension is simply the Self chasing the emotion of happiness as a static state of being. This will always keep us within the field of separation and polarity searching for a phantom! We achieve moments of charged bliss along the journey when our hearts open wider and wider but to sustain these as a state of being is not the true nature of embodied (in Light body) consciousness. It is an illusion of the separate self and will always lead to spiritual/ascension bondage. Eternal bliss is contentment with what is being experienced right now. Accepting reality as it is without moving from center into emotion which creates waves that move an otherwise still ocean/mind and experience of reality. Eternal bliss is not trying to change the outside reality by reaction, it is yielding to what is presenting and and remaining still within to experience harmony without. Do not take this for spiritual bypassing, for until we are truly ready to experience this form of reality, we must traverse the waves if we want to evolve and move toward eternal bliss.
In other words, the outside flow of Light becomes unchanged by the mind just as the inside Light is unchanged by the mind. We are free, liberated of programming in the mind that makes waves upon the ocean. Spirituality and ascension created realities that allowed me to see the programming that created the waves and to clear it from my mind. Each time it was replaced with a new Light program, a new identity. I reincarnated into a new life/lifetime with the same physical body on the outside but an entirely upgraded body able to handle to higher electromagnetic waves of the new dimensions. Each time searching for the holy grail of enlightenment, Eternal Life, Eternal bliss! Each time my reality improved, higher and higher, more love, more abundance, more peace, until alas there are no more programs. There is no “new” self to reincarnate in this body. The mind has been purified of all programs and I know that everyday I am “in this body” I will find eternal bliss through being unconditional love -unmoved by anything inside or out. I know that I will fail sometimes and I will succeed sometimes because that is how it is supposed to be embodied! But I am free! I am liberated from all chains or Light programs that bonded my consciousness to time, separation and the gravity or chains that bound me to separate reality. I am free to just be!
The photo shared with this post was taken in July 2022 from a park bench I happened to stop at one day while on a walk. It touched my heart and so I photographed it. In August 2022, I received the Light program for eternal embodiment to take place in this Light body. It would be the program to end all programs. And that it certainly did. It is like taking a smart phone and restoring it to factory settings. That is what has happened to my mind. It has been cleared of all programs/identities from the human, spirituality, ascension, consummation and returned to it’s original operating system of being love. I forgot all about this photo until I wrote the post above in my journal in which I REALized the understanding of love reflected in love. This is the only way forward for my writing….to share unconditional love with love when and if I feel I want to. To share the freedom and fun of simply being, living without purpose, to simply enjoy whatever happens without trying to change a thing! It is a journey to arrive at this place of eternal bliss and be ok with what we find when we return. Not perpetual happiness but a way of living in the world we can all remember if we think back to our childhood summers and the freedom we felt in the simplicity of just enjoying being alive!