I wish now to bow to you, the reader, and humbly submit this apology – If I ever told you that in order to be the Source you have to do this or you cannot do that – then right here, right now, I apologize. I can never define the Source outside of myself. I can only define the Source as experienced through my individual expression. I can never say this is being the Source and this is not being the Source. I can only submit to you my personal account of being the Source. In fact, can any of us define what it means to be the Source? Since the Source is our own heart and no one can ever truly know our heart and there are billions of hearts on this planet – can anyone really tell YOU what it means to be the Source – AKA your heart? Can anyone tell you that if you do this or say that then you are acting as ego and not the Source? Is it possible for anyone outside of you to know your heart and it’s desires and reason for being? If someone does say “to be the Source you would not do this or that or you should do this or that”, is this not a judgement from the spiritual ego? It doesn’t matter what another is doing or saying on their path, they are the Source. If they are coming from their heart, then they are the Pure Source. But it is not for us to judge one from the other. All is Divinity, Source, Consciousness.
If we are following our heart and only our heart, is this not Pure Source Consciousness? Is this not what the journey is about? Purifying our minds and bodies so that we can finally return to our hearts? To live each day as the Source, as the heart, as love. I have had some very profound lessons this past year and specifically these past few weeks. What I have learned most is to be the authentic expression of the Source that I came here to be. Which I had not been doing at times because my ego would not let me. Because the ego said being Pure Source Consciousness meant that I had to let go of everything in the world and just be. That I had to detach from the illusion by turning my back on the whole thing. That I strayed from my family and friends because they still lived in the illusion. Well news flash, all of Creation is an illusion. The whole thing is a story, the entire holographic Creation is a projection of Light. You cannot get out of it! The trick is to wake up in it! To remember that you are the Source of the Light. You are the Source of the Creation that you are experiencing in this body and outside of it. And also to remember that everyone else is you and is the Source too. Do you judge yourself? Then how can you judge anything because it is all you? The ego is scared, it won’t let go, it wants to be separate. Therefore it will even invent the inflated spiritual self. The one who thinks it is the Pure Source yet still has that one percent of doubt or judgement that shines through.
I let go of all doubt last year, I knew once and for all no matter what, that I am the Source in this body. However, I continued to judge myself about my own and others expectations of what being the Source really means. I realized in June that I still had an aspect in my life playing this part for me. I asked myself, why do I still have this in my reality? In truth, the answer was because I still judged myself, so it manifested in the outer through a friend. I still allowed this reflection to cast doubt and judgement into my reality which meant I still needed to work through something. Which was to stop judging my own writing or the content I felt in my heart to share or my interactions with my friends and family. I have let this go and it meant fully letting that person go out of my life too. Both took nearly six months to finally release. Through it, I have learned to release these bits of ego and I will tell you that all of these bits were disguised as purity and spirituality. I have written recently that this year brought a maturity to me, this is not just a maturity that comes with what we perceive as age. This year, specifically, these past few weeks has really brought about a spiritual maturity within me. More concretely, this maturity has brought a more refined and higher embodiment of neutrality! Neutrality is the absolute zero point of consciousness, the center of our Universe where there is no judgement and there is and only can exist pure unconditional love for all. It is the center of our Universe or our reality where we are not energetically charged by outer stimuli. Divine Neutrality does not seek to point fingers, to say what is or is not, it does not try to achieve anything and does not respond to anything from reaction – it simply is. This state of being is Pure Source Consciousness, living from the heart as the Source.
To put this into a perspective that is useful, I will share a few examples from my life this past year. The first is my relationship with my daughters. I have for the first time been able to engage them purely from the heart. There is no evidence of me acting as the mom, or energetic ties to this affect. Secondly, I do not try and convince them that I am a soul, the Source, or anything other than love. I engage them in their dream without disturbing them because I know the truth and this means that I am sensitive to their journey and allow all to unfold for them according to their Light program. This also means they think that I am mom and therefore call me mom as is appropriate for their reality. When and if they wake up to the truth then our interaction will reflect the new understanding. As the higher consciousness, I know the truth and act accordingly. I simply engage as unconditional love while respecting my own needs and also theirs. I also see them as myself not as my children. By approaching them this way our relationship has evolved to another level. It is so pure, non karmic and full of love. It took a lot of work on my part to cut the energetic ties that a mother has for her children. Years of work! However, if we closely examine those ties we will see that they hurt both parties more than support a relationship of unconditional love, sovereignty and freedom.
This has played out with others in my family as well. Before, I felt I had to stay away because they were never going to understand me or my journey and they lived in illusion or I would have to come out of Source Consciousness to interact with them. However, I have learned this year that as the higher consciousness, the Pure Source, the reality aligns to me,which is unconditional love. As for illusion, I interact with them as unconditional love only, my reality is observer of the dream while they remain the dreamer, yet we interact seamlessly through love! This means I have compassion, understanding and above all deep respect for where they are on their journey. After many years of turbulent relations, this year all my relations have settled into non karmic, pure, loving relationships because I have finally learned on a much deeper level, to let things be, to love without conditions and to not judge at all. And most importantly, to drop the spiritual ego and give myself permission to engage as the Source. I am free to interact and love without attachments, identities or agendas.
Another example, and probably the most important for me has been to be the authentic expression of the Source that I came here to be. Earlier this year and in previous years , I walked away from ascension, the journey, etc. I did this again in July when I said goodbye to my old website and started a new one. Why? Because my mind or ego has always intervened believing it was my highest path. In this case, my mind had its own idea of what being the Source meant. There were still distortions in my reality about what it means to be the Source. Oh, you know, the spiritual ego says that the Source is just being not doing and this means that we don’t write about anything anymore or try to teach or show or help anyone because this means we are doing something and not being. We have made it and it would mean that we are less than being if we do anything….. what a bunch of spiritual ego. But it is innocent and no need to feel bad about it. Yes, there comes a time where we stop doing and just be, where we stop trying to become something and instead simply rest within our own beingness in the now. Obviously, the mind, or ego, interpreted this in a different way and I let go of everything to just be. The truth is that was not the right road for me, I went right when I should have went left. It was the mind, the ego, that was doing the doing! In truth, the ego has to learn to stop doing. If we do anything from the ego, from an identity, then we are not being the Source. The ego has an agenda, a role, a mission, a have to! The Source just flows from moment to moment. It does not mean that we sit perpetually in a state of stillness. It simply means that we share, write, dance, sing, assist another soul or whatever in the moment as our heart guides us.
This is what I mean by being an authentic expression of the Source. I was stifling this within my own being because I perceived it to mean I was playing in the illusion or that I was “doing” something. This was further exacerbated because I would not fully let go of the aspect or friend that I mentioned above who was reflecting this self judgement to me. I was moving on to a greater understanding within myself and keeping this reflection in my reality was prohibiting me from fully embodying this. Not because that friend was bad, but because of how the reflection made me feel inside. I had to let go of my own judgements which meant I had to let this friend go as well. The moment I truly let go, I began to see a new path open up for me. This is when I could truly see that I was stifling my own unique expression of the Source. Many years ago I remembered and saw very clearly a life I experienced on the star Sirius. I was there during the planet’s ascension just at the same time as we find ourselves in on Earth. I saw that I came to teach about the Cosmos, ascension and the journey to becoming etheric Light Beings. I stayed on that planet in body until the beings there evolved right out of the flesh into etheric Light Bodies. Plain as looking out the window, I saw this play out before me. For many years, the ego thought it was the one on Sirius and tried to play the role of teacher, ascension guide, Mother God wanting to do something as an identity. This beloveds, was not and never could be my authentic expression of the Source.
However, recently this vision was given again and I see now with Divine eyes. It was the Source, Pure Consciousness, ME, the real me that is the ONE, that was on the star Sirius as a teacher. It was I, the eternal I, that was there as the Source and for the Source, Pure Consciousness, the ONE. There is and never will be any other. When I let go of ascension and the role of Mother God Sophia in July, I let go of my authentic expression as well. The expression that is here as the ONE for the ONE! The expression that shares when the heart says share. The expression that teaches not by becoming a teacher but by being an authentic expression of the ONE. What I have learned during this year and these past few weeks is that when we express ourselves as the Source, we are not doing. We are not trying to do anything, achieve anything or judge anything. It is truly the Taoist saying of Wu Wei Wu which means Doing not Doing! When we express ourselves from the heart, as the Source, we are being the authentic expression of Divinity that we each are! I do not need anyone’s approval of what I share, say or do because I live in my heart. No one else needs my approval or opinion on whether something someone does or says makes them a Pure Source or not. I am not a teacher, writer, Mother God, or anything. These are identities the mind clings to. I simply share as an authentic expression of the ONE whatever comes through my heart in any now moment without an attachment to it or the outcome of it. I simply experience what is happening in my reality now without judging it. For me, this is being the Source, the authentic expression of the ONE.
At the beginning of this revelation passage, I posted a picture of myself in India and remarked about the light hearted bliss I was in. This was a sweet time on my journey. It was only a few months after what I consider to be the greatest awakening of my journey. The moment I knew without a doubt I was a soul! That picture says a lot about the journey. Here I was liberated from the slavery of being a human. I was free and I had no ambitions, desires or fears about not becoming the Source. In that time period I lived completely in my heart without any idea of ascension. Then I found spiritualty and ascension and my bliss changed because the ego began to want to do something or achieve something or become something. This completely changed me and my world. I never felt that Light again. I now felt the pressure of saving the world, achieving Source Consciousness or teaching about ascension and the Cosmos because I HAD to do it! It was why I AM here I would say. Yet, all along it was the ego playing the part and this robbed me of the bliss of being and the enjoyment of living. This year, I let it go, I let go of all identities, I let go aspects that have served me and I let go of the mind’s idea of what being the Source means. It took a long time but I have let it all go and now I simply follow my heart.
When my heart says….Write about ascension, dimensions or collective journey…ok, Write about being the Source…ok, Walk over to this stranger and start talking about consciousness….ok, Don’t walk down that street tonight…ok, Call so and so and say I love you…ok, Take this pill for sea sickness…ok, Eat out tonight again…ok, Stay home for a few days and go offline…ok, Get up and write about what you are experiencing right now…ok. This is what it is like living as the Source. The mind doesn’t say no or restrict the heart in anyway! I do my best every single moment not to allow the mind to say…. don’t write, don’t talk to that stranger, talking about ascension or dimensions or the collective is playing in the illusion, go down that street.. I always do, don’t eat out again it’s unhealthy, don’t stay home and rest.. go to the beach, don’t take that pill it’s not natural. The mind will try and get me sometimes, it is a matter of staying fully conscious and present in my heart, to feel the subtle shifts in my energy that guide me, to listen to my first instinct and inner knowing – to follow my heart!
Living as the Source means the heart is the guide. The heart knows best and the heart has no restrictions. It always, always, always shows us the highest path. It is the Source of all Light that creates the reality that unfolds before us. And when we can live from the heart, we always choose the highest vibrational choice and experience the highest vibrational reality. We always get the most awesome, loving and enjoyable existence because it is pure and in vibrational alignment with our heart, the Source, the ONE Pure Consciousness that is all things! When we live from our heart, we are always living as our most authentic expression of Pure Consciousness which means that we are living according to the Law of ONE, which benefits all of Creation. This is freedom! True freedom! Pure freedom! The freedom we as a collective are working to achieve as ONE! I feel freer than I ever have even during those sweet times I mentioned above. This freedom is deeper, purer and has pervaded every aspect of my life here. From family relationships, my relationship with Christos, my interactions with people and the outer world to how I interact with myself in my own inner world. It is a complete freedom from limits, judgements or expectations of myself or the outer hologram. It is complete freedom from the mind and the programming or preconceived ideas and beliefs that once ruled my reality. It is a complete freedom from spirituality, ascension and trying to become or be anything. It is a freedom from proving to myself or anyone else that I am the Source or that they are or are not. It is the complete freedom to be my authentic expression of Divinity in every now moment! To allow Pure Consciousness to flow freely from my heart to create the highest, Lightest and most enjoyable realities for this expression. My heart is so full of love, bliss and joy for everything, for understanding, for love, for Light! Don’t try to be anything beloveds. Just be your authentic self and I promise the journey will always reward you with a greater understanding of what it means to be FREE. There is nothing left to say beloveds except that I love you, follow your heart and live in joy as sovereign, free, beings of Light!