It has been sometime since I gave a personal update to my journey. Honestly, these days I am unable to write like I used to. My mind does not work like it once did and I am not who I once was, these have greatly affected my ability to sit and write a linear piece of material. However, the past few weeks since the September Equinox I have been more in my mind as it became time to see the distortions that were playing out in my reality. These I have written about extensively on my blog as part of chronicling my consciousness adventure this lifetime. Diving deep into my mind and programming has also allowed me the experience of reflecting on all that has transpired since June when my reality shifted last. Because I have shifted into linear thinking I can “look back” and see all that has played out these past four months that I have been in California. I have shared the relationship distortion that affected my reality. However, I would like to mention that it was not something that drastically affected my reality everyday. Therefore, I mostly lived a reality of unification and joy. And this is what I would like to share in this post. How embodiment has affected my everyday experience of being in body and traversing my reality.
First, let me start by saying that it has occurred to me on a profound level that the journey never ends. We simply move from phase to phase in our consciousness adventure surfing the waves of Creation! The truth is that consciousness is on an infinite journey of expansion and contraction and we are consciousness. In June, I knew I was at the end of my journey and in a way I was. I experienced a profound experience on Mt. Shasta in which the sky opened up to the Cosmos and my entire Light Body was merged with every photon of Light within Creation. I was eternally home and there was nothing more to seek or become. I was home and the journey was over – the journey of doing, seeking and becoming. Yet, I was also at the beginning of a new journey or a new phase. This was truly the start of the journey of being. The phase where I have embodied all of my Light and now I must remember how to be the Source in all moments. The phase where I am no longer trying to become anything, do anything or understand anything. I simply accept that things are exactly as they are meant to be right here right now. I simply accept that I do not need to mentally understand how it all works. This is about being the Source of all that is experienced internally and externally. It is about energy, vibration and feeling. It is a much more relaxed way to live this existence and although I had to go through the relationship programming issue these past few weeks, I will say that my new reality has been quite amazing and different from before.
One of the things that I have experienced quite frequently this year is the sensation of pure bliss. It is the state of being that is Source as the observer and Creator. It is what I sometimes refer to as the mystical experience. The void I fall into when there is no thinking or awareness of separation. I am in a complete state of neutrality and the entire inner and outer reality become ONE existence playing out. It is such an energetic experience that it is quite difficult to put into words. I simply fade away as a person and become a vibration or a feeling – which I call pure bliss. Its a warm feeling radiating from deep within and it just flows out of me into the outer reality aligning everything to that frequency. The frequency of Oneness. The vibration is so soft, gentle and blissful that nothing else exists but the experience of being pure love and pure bliss. I become a super conscious observer of everything as ONE – not as I – but as ONE frequency. I physically see different people, objects, comings and goings; yet it is all ONE fluid movement. As if I am seeing behind the veils of my visual reality. There is no mind running. I literally cannot talk, I do not want to or else I come out of the state of being. I only want to sit in silence in my own radiance and just be in Oneness with all of it. It is heaven. It is heavenly and it has happened so much this year in such random times and places. Sitting on the street having tea at a café’ or at the public pool or riding in the car or watching the trees or laying in bed, etc. It is not specific to meditation in fact in has never happened in meditation it happens when I am relaxed, fully present in my reality and in a state of neutrality. This is what the next phase is about for me – being the Divine Source in all moments.
Which leads me to another thing I have experienced and that is observing myself talking. I have been fortunate that much of the previous four years I was in isolation. This leads one to a lot of silence. Silence is great for maintaining Divine Presence and keeping the mind quite. However, I have been living with Christos full time and it has provided me with many opportunities to see where talking puts me right into a story instead of an observer. I will say that Christos and I communicate less with words and more with energy than any couple I know but there are still times we need to talk or want to share with each other. Perhaps one day we will go completely telepathic but for now we still use words to talk. Words are designed to tell stories and that is what most talking does – pulls us in a reality instead of us remaining an observer of it. I am learning to be conscious of taking on a role when I speak to him or anyone. Also, part of embodiment is loosing our memories. Memories are tied to past realities which keeps us locked into time. As does thinking or speaking about the future. Therefore, in addition to my mind being cleared of memories, I have become aware of when I speak of the past. Such as “I was a banker”. That phrase not only brings the past into the now, creating the separation of time, it also brings me from a conscious observer of my reality into a story where I have taken on the identity of being a banker. This is an example of why I am unable to sustain the state of being mentioned above. So I am learning to be with another, converse with them and still stay as observer. Again, a new phase brings new experiences and this is my current experience.
Lastly, I have been learning how to live again. My previous journey or phase was one of much isolation and solitude. I renounced everything in my life, family, friends, possessions, money (except the bare minimum to survive). I spent years working through programming, purifying my vessel and my consciousness and physically embodying all of my Light. It was what my journey required. It has also allowed me to fully activate my Divine HUman vessel. My heart portal is connected to the Source as the Source and I am a generator of my own Light. I can command my vessel to be filled with Light, to heal itself or even exercise itself. It also means that I am a fully conscious Creator in this vessel and therefore I am fully responsible for my entire reality and everyone and everything in it as they are reflections of my consciousness. I am learning to live with Christos, my family and others without creating stories or labels that separate. (You see how even writing this I have to use labels to explain) I am learning that I can live with others in neutrality without attachments and stories as the Source. And this is what I mean by learning to live again. I am learning to live as Source fully conscious in a physical vessel. And it takes a lot of patience, tenderness and compassion for myself when I forget. Because I do forget!
My year was filled with timeless works of literature illustrating how humans have always struggled to live in unity with the Creator. And now I am living it – most of the time. I have to stay fully conscious to do this and it takes a lot of energy. Which means I cannot give my energy away to distractions like I once did. I have to spend time in silence and meditation to stay in my heart center. I have to communicate with my vessel, scan it and work with it as a part of my consciousness. I have to interact with my outer reality as an observer not as a participant. I must look at everything as Light. Reality is made of Light, my vessel is made of Light, my consciousness is made of Light. Therefore, all can be commanded to shape shift at will from a pure heart with pure intention for the greatest good. This is how all the things listed above can happen. This is another journey from the one that concluded in June. It is the journey of being the Source in every moment of everyday. It is a very rewarding journey. It may sound like a lot but it is like anything else – what we focus on is what we get.
These past few weeks in reflection have certainly revealed a lot to me. The relationship programming was big and it feels great to be free of it. I cannot say for certain if all programming on everything is gone. I do not think I could ever say for certain anything anymore – and I am finally ok with that! Being able to sit and reflect on all that has transpired since June has certainly allowed me to see with clarity the trajectory this new phase is taking me. Embodiment is something new for consciousness on our planet. It certainly is very different than the veiled consciousness experience of being a human. I can only say that it is very purifying and it continues to purify me even more. I am humbled at the miracle that is existence itself and the endless journey I will always be on. Now it is time to say goodbye to California and journey on to a new reality. I was not able to leave here or this reality until I transcended the relationship programming. Alas, I am victorious and the show can go on! My leave in California is not permanent but I are leaving this current reality behind forever. Christos and I will be heading to Mexico on November 3rd to a new reality and new adventures. The journey is infinite and the time to enjoy it is now.
P.S. Below are pictures from learning to live these past few months. Enjoy!